this one's for the right to petition

I had a little botox party today.
It's not for wrinkles. My skin is as smooth and unblemished as a baby's. No, I had a doctor shoot botulism poison into both sides of my neck and both shoulders.

The idea is to cure a problem called "focal cervical dystonia," which is fancy medical talk for "wow, your neck and shoulders sure do go into spasm a lot!"  I don't recommend it as an experience. It won't kill you, but it puts a damper on things.

Unless the neurologist is lying, I should be feeling a lot better in five days or so. I'm looking forward to it!

Medicine is weird and getting weirder. As my friend Sean says, in ten years they'll just give you a $15,000 croissantwich and it'll regrow your pancreas. For now, I'm happy with the $2500 worth of botulism, especially since Blue Shield is paying most of it. Apparently it's good for migraines sometimes, too. Who knew?

I offered to bring in a swelled up can of oysters instead of spending all that money on Allergan's fancy schmancy poison, but they said that was okay.

It's not just that they insisted on violating the law and the Constitution. It's not just that they tried to pressure the Attorney General to approve it when he had already refused. And it's not just that they did it while he was ill and not acting as Attorney General.

They did it at night in his hospital room, causing the acting Attorney General and the director of the F.B.I. to go lights-and-siren through the nation's capital and run upstairs to the hospital room and stop them.

And then tried to refuse a witness to the discussion afterwards.

And then, after Ashcroft had walked over the whole deal, they got what they wanted anyway because Gonzo got the job.

How close are we to a coup, anyway? Who's got five bucks on it?

Reference:

New York Times article today

 http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/15/washington/15cnd-attorneys.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin

Help save chocolate! Visit the Don't Mess With Our Chocolate site and tell the FDA not to let them fill it up with MISCELLANEOUS VEGETABLE OIL!

I have to say, when I'm in crazy pain and on crazy happy pills and can't think straight or see straight, it's good to have a friend who takes me out for lunch and lets me totter around UCI and swear for an hour. It's better than yelling at the cat.

The lovely and talented A.V. Phibes has, through scientific examination of the text, determined exactly what Meat Loaf will not do for love.

Please make a note of it.